Life Skills

Curiosity Leads to New Discoveries

Jodi Marcus, School Counselor

Children are curious by nature. They can teach us a lot about living a life of awe and wonder. Curiosity may look different from child to child: one may prefer to explore their world physically, while another chooses arts and crafts; one may be most intrigued by science and another history. In whatever form it takes, children discover and learn through exploration and wonder.

When a child is curious about something, they want to learn more. The “What? Why? How?” questions that we hear from young children are the signs of an inquisitive mind, eager to engage. They are fuel for the discovery process and we want to encourage and inspire those questions.

Curiosity about the World

Our children have a natural curiosity about the world around them. A simple walk in a park can be a journey of discovery! What’s under that rock? Watch those bugs! Look at this rock. What happens when I bang it on this rock? Why is the sky blue? There is so much to explore in their everyday lives!

As they get older, the realm of discovery widens to include the larger world of math, literature, science, technology, music, art, and other cultures, to name a few. By continuing to follow curiosity over the years, children gain more knowledge and understanding of the world (which likely leads to more questions). Maybe even more importantly, they learn to love the process of discovery.

Curiosity about Others

Socially, curiosity helps kids develop friendships, strengthen social bonds, build empathy and connect to their community and world. When a child is curious about another person, they may observe closely, ask questions, listen and show interest. This attention can make other people feel good too! A child wondering why another is sad or angry is the foundation for empathy and perspective taking. Children are often curious about other children. This is a great opportunity to explore how people live in other communities. For example, our third grade community has pen pal from elementary schools all over the country. Encourage their interest in people who are both similar to, and different from, them.

Curiosity about Self

Children are naturally curious about what they can do through movement, art, music dance, sports. Imagine a child goes to see a dance performance or a soccer game and thinks, “Can I do that? I want to try!”. Maybe they are working with art materials and want to see what will happen if they mix one color with another. Curiosity is an essential part of expression and creativity.

Curiosity can also be turned inward to build self awareness and self discovery. How do I feel? What do I like? What bothers me? What makes me happy? Why did I make that choice? What do I want? What do I need? Exploration of the inner world requires a degree of curiosity about one’s thoughts, feelings and motivations.

Nurture Curiosity

For some children, curiosity fades as they get older. A child who is less curious may not try as many new things or make friends as easily. A child who is less curious may not be as inspired or motivated to explore and learn.

An important task, as adults in children’s lives, is to protect and nurture their inherent curiosity. We can nurture it through our positive engagement, attention and recognition and limit it through fear or negative judgment. We can limit it by discouraging questions and nurture it by encouraging wonder.

How can we keep curiosity alive in our children?

• Model it! Keep alive our own sense of awe and wonder. Share our curiosity with children. Use phrases like: “I am curious about….”. Let them see you follow your own curiosity into new discoveries.
• Reinforce their curiosity with attention and positive recognition. Recognize how curiosity presents itself in different children. There is more than one way to be curious.
• Give them opportunities to follow their curiosity. Encourage the wonder. Ask “What do you wonder about? What do you want to know more about?” Make space for their exploration of that thing.
• Foster a growth mindset and an acceptance of failure and mistakes. They are an essential part of the discovery process.
• Use literature to inspire wonder, curiosity and inquiry.

Book Ideas

Many books can promote wonder and inquiry. Here are a few picture books that may inspire!

Stella, The Star of the Sea by Marie Louise Gay

I Wonder by Annaka Harris

What do you do with an idea? Kobi Yamada

Zoom Istan Danyai

Going Places by Paul Reynolds

Imagine a Place by Sarah Thompson

 

It is beneficial for children to explore the character trait at school and home. At school, they will have classroom lessons and discussions on the topic. We would love to the hear ways you are cultivating curious minds at home.

From the Counselor’s Corner: Gratitude

“The root of joy is gratefulness.” ~David Steindl-Rast

Gratitude is the character trait for both November and December. It is a feeling of thankfulness and grows from an appreciation of what we have, who we are, others and the world around us. Feeling grateful benefits all of us on a fundamental level. Research shows that cultivating gratitude can increase happiness, self-esteem, hope, empathy and optimism. In addition, studies have shown that when kids practice grateful thinking it can increase positive attitudes toward school and family.

Let’s cultivate an attitude of gratitude in children! As the adults in their lives, there is so much we can do the support the development of this character trait. Most importantly, since children learn so much from what they see, we teach it by modeling our own gratitude. There are many ways we can infuse our family and classroom culture with gratitude.

Nurture an Attitude of Gratitude:

• Keep a gratitude journal.
• Tell someone in your life what you appreciate about them.  
• Each day, ask yourself and each other: What are you grateful for today?
• Create a gratitude poster or gratitude jar. Invite others to write about things that make them feel grateful and add it to the poster or jar.
• Write thank you notes.
• Look for ways to give back to others.
• Read books about gratitude. Discuss.
• Identify attitudes of gratitude in the characters of books, movies and shows. Discuss.
• Find the bright side of a difficult situation. What did you learn from the experience? How did you grow? What can you be grateful for right now?

Books about Gratitude

Gratitude Soup by Olivia Rosewood

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

Bear Says Thanks by Karma Wilson

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig

Splat Says Thank You by Rob Scotton

The Berenstain Bears Count their Blessings by Jan and Stan Berenstain

Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? By Dr. Seuss

An Awesome Book of Thanks by Dallas Clayton

Andy and the Lion by James Daugherty

The Thankful Book by Todd Parr

 

It is powerful for children to explore the character trait at school and home. At school, they will have classroom lessons and discussions on the topic. At home, you can continue the conversation and make gratitude a daily practice. We would love to the hear ways you are cultivating an attitude of gratitude at home!

From the Counselor’s Corner: Choose Kindness!

Each month, Westridge Wildcats will focus on a character trait that contribute to positive character development and school culture. These traits are an important part of our school-wide code of conduct: Be Safe, Be Respectful, Be Responsible, Be Kind. I will be teaching classroom lessons around the character trait each month and teachers will be integrating conversations about the traits into their days.

We are going to kick off the school year with the trait of kindness! Through kindness, we create a community of caring and compassion. We will explore the concept of “choosing kindness” and encourage students to recognize  those moments when we can make the kind choice and develop that part of our character. Students will be encouraged to look for ways to be kind in the classroom, on the playground, at home, in the community. We will learn about people who have displayed acts of kindness that have changed lives. We will tune into how it feels to be kind and why it is important.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” ~Aesop

It is powerful for children to explore the character trait at school, home, and in the community. At home, you can reinforce their learning and help them integrate the character trait into all aspects of their lives.

Here are some ideas for the classroom and home:

• • Cultivate kindness. In the beginning of the day, remind your child to look for ways to be kind. At the end of the day, ask your child about those moments that they chose kindness or were treated with kindness. Talk about how it felt. Share your own stories of kindness.
• Read books about kindness.

Some suggestions:

• How full is your bucket? By Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer
• Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed by Emily Pearson
• Good People Everywhere by Linea Gillen
• Random Acts of Kindness series

• Be a kindness scout. Encourage everyone to notice acts of kindness at home, in school, in the world, in the neighborhood, in the grocery store, in movies, in books or in shows. Talk about it. How does it feel to observe an act of kindness?
• Create a Kindness Board. Everyone writes or draws a picture about acts of kindness they received or observed. Hang them on the fridge or a wall.

 

We would love to hear how your family brings kindness into your everyday lives!

Practice Perseverance

By Jodi Marcus, School Counselor

“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.” – Samuel Johnson

Perseverance is the ability to keep on going and not giving up, even when things get challenging. Developing skills and working toward a goal requires perseverance and a growth mindset. We want to help our children develop this trait so they can grow into their fullest potential.

Wildcats show perseverance by practicing a new skill, trying again after making mistakes, and working hard to reach a goal.

Famous authors, athletes, artists, scientists have at least one thing in common: perseverance. It is a quality that is required to achieve great things. Most successful people have failed repeatedly and made mistakes on their journey toward success. In addition, they viewed these mistakes as learning opportunities. They did not give up! Successful people persevere, even when things are hard. Here are a few examples:

• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job.
• Elvis Presley was fired after his first performance at the Grand Old Oprey.
• Dr. Suess was rejected many times before a published accepted his first book.

Growth Mindset

Having a growth mindset supports perseverance. Growth mindset, a term coined by Dr. Carol Dweck, describes the underlying belief that people have about learning and intelligence. It is one in which people believe they can get smarter and learn new things with effort. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that intelligence and skill is fixed and cannot change. To foster a growth mindset in children, we can focus our encouragement on the effort. And, if you hear your children (or yourselves) using language that reflect a fixed mindset (such as phrases like, “I can’t do it!” “I’m not good at _______!” “I’ll always be bad at _______.”), notice and try to change the mindset to one of growth and possibility.

What does perseverance look like, sound like and feel like?

It is beneficial to be explicit with students about what character traits look like, sound like and feel like. It makes it more concrete and understandable. Here are some ideas:

Looks like	Sounds Like	Feels like
Trying again Getting back up after falling or failing Receiving feedback Learning from mistakes Getting help when needed Trying a different way when stuck Taking a break and coming back to it Talking it out Not being afraid to make mistakes	“I’ll try again!”   “Mistakes are for learning.”   “If I keep practicing, I will create stronger pathways in my brain.”   “With practice, this will get easier.”   “I can do it!”	Determined Strong Resilient Powerful Confident

How can we help develop perseverance in our children?

• Model it.
  • Use language that shows your own willingness to try again after a mistake or failure.  “I made a mistake. I learned from my mistake and now I will try again.”
  • Share stories of experiences you’ve had where perseverance led to success.
  • Model what to do when they get stuck on a test or assignment. “I am stuck, I feel frustrated. I am going to take a deep breathe and try this a different way.”
• Practice it.
  • If a child is stuck or struggling with a task or skill, before jumping in to do it for them or tell them how, give them some time and space to try to figure it out on their own. There is a quote: “Don’t steal the struggle.” A lot of learning and perseverance is built through moving through the struggle. If they are unable to move forward, ask guiding questions to help the without doing it or telling them what to do right away.
  • Teach children how to set a goal and break the goal into smaller steps with a specific plan to achieve the goal. You can use the basic template of: I want to _______________ (goal). To reach that goal I will ____________________ (smaller steps and specific plan). Set a timeline and have the child track their progress over time.
  • When mistakes are made, coach your child through the growth mindset that may include statements such as:  “I am learning. Mistakes help me learn. I will try again or do it a different way.”
  • Role play having a positive mindset when mistakes are made. Role playing is a powerful and playful way to practice a skill.
• Talk about it.
  • Use language that shows children the connection between their hard work and efforts and success. Praise their efforts more than the outcome. Instead of, “You did a great job on that math test!” try, “You worked really hard to learn those skills!”
  • Share stories of people kids know whose perseverance led to success. Examples: athletes, artists, musicians, scientists and people in their lives.
• Read about it.
  • Read books that feature characters who demonstrate perseverance. Talk about the character’s perseverance and efforts. I include some recommendations below.

Book Suggestions

Mia Hamm Winners Never Quit

Luke goes to Bat by Rachel Isadora

Thank you, Mr. Faulker by Patricia Pollaco

Brave Irene by William Steig

Sally Jean the Bicycle Queen by Carl Best

The Little Engine that Could

For Older Kids

Stone Fox by John Reynolds Gardiner

Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

Brian’s Winter by Gary Paulsen

**If you have any books to add to this list, please let us know!**

Home to School Connection

At school, children will have classroom lessons and discussions about perseverance. We would love to the hear ways you are practicing perseverance at home. Contact us in ParentSquare with your book ideas or stories and suggestions from home about practicing perseverance.

The Problem Solving Path

by Jodi Marcus, School Counselor

“My problem held an opportunity.
It was an opportunity for me to learn and grow.
To be brave. To do something.”
~Kobi Yamada in What To Do With a Problem?

Problem solving, or the ability to find solutions to a problem, is our January character trait.

Kids regularly learn step-by-step methods for solving math problems. If we say “problem solving” this may be the first thing that comes to mind. However, there is a form of problem solving that extends well beyond the math curriculum-solving problems in our social and emotional lives. Problems can challenge us when we work, play, create and relate. To fully thrive, we need to solve problems that can come up daily and, like with math problems, there is a step-by-step approach. With the tools and skills to face problems, they can be opportunities- not obstacles.  

Kids can face problems every day that include academic difficulties, creative challenges, conflicts with peers or on the sports field. When they are able to solve these problems, they are more likely to feel successful academically, athletically, creatively and socially. Being a problem solver can increase self esteem, resilience and optimism.

When a problem arises, kids who lack problem solving skills may either avoid taking action or spring into action without thinking through their choices. Both of these options can lead to bigger problems that may negatively impact feelings of academic and social success, self esteem and resilience. In addition, if we consistently solve problems for children, we may deny them the opportunity to gain this skill.

The Problem Solving Path

The problem solving process follows a basic step-by-step pathway that starts with naming feelings and stating the problem. Once those are understood, we can generate a list of possible solutions, evaluate each one and choose the best option.

This pathway can be communicated in language that is developmentally appropriate for each child. We can use visual cues to show children the choices they have for solving problems (see Kelso’s Choice). For younger children, it can simply be: What’s going on? What can we do? Pick one. Try it. How did it go?

How do you feel? Are you calm?

• Notice how you feel.
• Use tools to calm so you can think clearly.
• When calm, move to the next step.

What is the problem?

• Name the problem.
• Why do you feel angry, upset or frustrated?

What are some solutions?

• Think of as many solutions as you can.
• Write them down, draw pictures or talk it out.

Evaluate each solution.

• What would happen if….? Would it help?
• How would the other person feel?
• Is it safe? Is it kind and fair?

Choose one solution and try it.

• Did it solve the problem? If not, go back and choose a different one.

How Do Kids Develop Problem Solving Skills?

Observation

Kids can learn this process from observing the adults in their lives. We can be problem solving role models! When we are working through a problem (and it is age appropriate to share), we can verbalize our process or tell them about it afterwards.

Practice

Life will present kids with many opportunities to develop this skill experientially. With every problem solved, the process becomes easier and more automatic. We can guide them through this process by asking questions for each step of the path. We can write out (or draw) the problem and solutions and create a pro/con list for each solution.  The child can circle the solution they chose. Save the list. Revisit if the first solution did not work and pick another one to try. By allowing them solve their own problems (with guidance, if needed), we are strengthening this skill.

Visuals

Visuals are environmental cues that can support this skill. Teaching kids some problem solving choices visually can be very effective. Kelso’s Choice (www.kelsoschoice.com) is a wonderful program that highlights nine social problem solving strategies (some verbal, some non-verbal). It includes a visual choice wheel. You can also use a visual of the problem solving pathway to help kids remember the steps.

Role Play

Think of real life scenarios and role play using the problem solving pathway to come up with a solution. This can be fun, educational and entertaining for all!

Literature and Media

Books, movies and shows are often stories of problems to be solved. Have a discussion around the problem and solution in the story. You can ask the same questions listed in the The Problem Solving Path above about the characters and the story.  When they are faced with a problem, you can refer to a cherished book as a guide for problem solving ideas.

Some Book Ideas

*Most of these are picture books. Much of young adult literature includes stories of problems to be solved and can be used to explore this skill.

• Teaching Children Problem Solving through Literature by James W Forgan
• What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada
• The Day the Crayons Quit by Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers
• The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry and the Big Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood
• Stuck by Oliver Jeffers
• Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy by Jacky Davis and David Soman

 

It is beneficial for children to explore the character trait at school and home. At school, they will have classroom lessons and discussions on the topic. At home, you can continue the conversation and make problem solving part of daily life. We would love to the hear ways you are practicing problem solving at home.

From the Counselor’s Corner: Self Control

October’s character trait is Self Control. Self control is the ability to stop and think before acting. It is being in control of our body, our words and our actions. It includes being aware of one’s own thoughts and feelings and the consequences of our actions. With Halloween around the corner and all its promises of costumes and candy, this can be a very helpful character trait this month!

Many things in life require a child to demonstrate self control. Here are some that can come up in a school day:

• Keeping hands and feet to self
• Waiting for things: recess, a favorite activity, to be called on to speak in class, for a turn
• Walking quietly in line
• Managing anger, upset, fear or frustration when these strong emotions arise
• Using kind and respectful words, even when upset
• Making healthy choices
• Persevering when things are hard
• Staying quiet and listening when the teacher is giving a lesson
• Ending a game during PE or recess and lining up quietly

Children learn a lot about self control by what they see and it develops through practice. The adults in their lives can teach self control through real-life modeling. One way you can do this is by verbally describing your process of being in control: “I would really like that dessert now, but I am going to use self control and wait until after dinner.” “I am feeling upset and I am going to take a break and three deep breaths to calm down.” You can also identify and discuss characters in stories and movies who are demonstrating self control, and characters who are not. You can role play scenarios that require self control.

Some skills that support self control are:

• Recognizing and understanding our feelings
• Taking breaks when upset, overwhelmed or frustrated
• Breathing deeply to calm ourselves
• Developing other calming strategies and routines (counting, visualizing, stretching)
• Knowing our choices
• Thinking about how our choices impact others

Find Books About Self Control

It is powerful for children to explore the character trait at school and home. At school, they will have classroom lessons and discussions on the topic. At home, you can continue the conversation and make self-control a household word and practice.

A ZEST For Life

Jodi Marcus, School Counselor

Our character trait for March is Zest! Zest is having enthusiasm, energy or excitement. Think about a time you did something in a state of boredom and a time you did something with enthusiasm. It’s a completely different experience, right? One can feel heavy and negative; the other light and positive. We can choose to live with zest. When we do, it colors our entire world! It uplifts our attitude, our experience, our relationships and our community.

The enthusiasm and energy of zest comes from having a positive outlook on life. It is a choice, it is is contagious and it can be taught. We want to help children develop a zest for learning. It can be easy to have zest about things we love, but we can also learn to have zest for many things we do. When our children learn with excitement, they are more eager and receptive students. This is place where connections are made and creativity is nurtured.

Here is a list of some observable qualities of zest, as well as some feelings associated with it.

Looks like	Sounds like	Feels like
Eyes open Body toward activity Excited Smiling Leaning in Alert Attentive Engaged Focus on activity	Positive comments or exclamations “Wow!” “Awesome!” “Cool!” “Yes!” “I will!” Wonder Questions	Excitement Lots of energy Focus Happy Joy Enthusiasm Eager

How can we inspire zest in our children?

Focus on the Positive

Teach children to focus on positive things that are happening in their lives, in a specific experience or a relationship.

 Model it

We model zest by showing our enthusiasm toward our own lives and experiences.

Connect to a Child’s Interests

When we make personal connections to their experience, background knowledge and interests, we are feeding their zest for learning.

Choose Zest

Practice cultivating zest during times that feel less exciting. Show kids that having zest is a choice.  

Find Zest in Stories

Notice when characters in literature or media show zest and discuss how that impacts their lives.

 

At school, children will have classroom lessons and discussions on this month’s character trait. We would love to the hear ways you are cultivating zest at home.